Should I Try To Contact Her After So Long?
It’s been eight years. I signed up to travel three weeks around Europe with a concert ensemble. During auditions, standing in line behind me, was a pretty face that has yet to fade. There she was, the girl that would haunt my thoughts for nearly decade. In no time, past to present, has a like encounter occurred to me. For the first two weeks of the trip we were inseparable. Eating, site seeing, laughing, talking, talking, talking…
I was 17 then. Handsome, energetic, flirty, funny, and no confidence with women, at all! I never had kissed and was never in a relationship longer than two weeks. Needless to say, I didn’t have the courage to make my move. She was so great, though! So beautiful and such a compliment to my personality.I didn’t know at the time, but I was already in love with her.
Disastrously, a her friend during the trip wouldn’t leave us alone long enough for me show her what she had done to my heart. I knew she knew, but a relationship noob? meeting the proverbial ‘one,’ so young, on a whim in Europe, with little time to spare? I didn’t know how to make the first move. Thats like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. I became frustrated (very) with myself, the friend and fact that our trips end was swiftly approaching.
I was a child, so I became very confused with my feelings. I had never felt so many complex emotions at once. It can be compared to a first orgasm. Wow! am I supposed to feel like this?!? I didn’t know about venting to others so they could offer their support. I was a rookie bating against Randy Johnson.
During the end of the second week, the emotional complexes had inevitably taxed my mind to the brink. This lead to a bitter encounter which ended our friendship. “We shouldn’t be with each other.. the end of the trip is almost here and its going to be so much harder to let go then,” I told her. The break off felt more like a break up. She was devastated. I had single handedly ruined the remainder of her trip in one sentence. The truth was that, I couldn’t stand her damn friend and I was mad at myself for never making a move. I avoided her the remainder of the trip, but before we all left in our separate planes to our separate lives, I went to her and she looked at me with her pretty smile and we hugged really hard.
What a waste of a possibility. I wrote her a 6-8 months later; a very detailed letter to tell her how much I missed her. I never got a response. I found out through a friend from the trip that that she had become pregnant a year later or so.
Then silence.
For the first few years, I was too busy getting ready for college. This was before facebook. I would think about her from time to time and always when I became intoxicated at parties. My friends ragged me to contact her, but I thought it would be waay too awkward. I did try calling her once but the number had been disconnected, or changed, I had no way of knowing.
Now I’m through with college. I have a good degree and a good job. I still have some of my good looks (to whom behold the eyes) Heh. The difference is that I have grown up and I understand my feelings. I am currently in a relationship with a girl that wants to get married, but I can’t say yes. You see, everything was going real smooth until I one day, I was surfing myspace and decided to ‘friend find’ her name. All attempts in the past had failed, but not today. A month ago, she had decided to make a myspace account, so there I was, starring at her for the first time in 8 years. I had hundreds of images in my mind of what she might look like today. Had she lost or gained considerable weight? Had she had a terrible accident? Did she even look like the Nikki that powerpunched me out of my shoes the first time I saw her!? ….she did. Even more gorgeous. My heart exploded. Three times.
It turns out that she does have a kid, and she looks happy. I am anything but a weirdo stalker, so I limited myself to invade her personal information. I am, however, in a world of calamity. I will not be satisfied, in life, unless I know our lives were put here for each other.
I really need your advice. Contact her? Yes/No? This is a girl that has tremendously cursed my thoughts for 8 years. All of my friends are telling me YES! Just myspace her. Ha.. Just when I thought I had confidence…
What do you all think?
She is in no relationship. (according to myspace)
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December 17th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
First off, wow you’re a great writer! I feel like I just watched a movie! How sweeettt!!
FRIEND HER! Why wouldn’t you!?!? There are people on myspace that friend people they’ve never even met! Do it! Don’t just do it — do it AND message her! Get her number, tell her how you’ve felt! Any women with half a brain would melt at the question I just read. Go on a few dates too! See where this goes. I wish you the absolute best of luck and I hope it works out for you in the end. I’d like to know how the story ends! 
Ok, I’m done being corny
December 18th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Yes! Start building connection with her. Don’t let your chance go by.
Don’t be afraid, tell her what you really feel.
December 18th, 2009 at 7:18 am
well you can try to contact her and myspace is the exact thing for you… you can jst add her as frend and just casually ask her about her life and doing and get to know about her present situation.. if she has been feeling the same about you she’s sure to make some kinda move… but i feel just tsaking to her will let you get over that 8 years frustation…. n if u r meant to be together… well just leave that to destiny!